nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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