Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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