So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
