toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
