I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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