Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
