i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
