The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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