why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So many bounce houses so little time
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
