He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize