Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
