i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
