dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
