Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
