i permit you to call me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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