shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
