He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
