turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
