doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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