My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
