Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
