I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
His hands were made for my vagina.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
