I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
