I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
