I must be too annoying 4 u.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pants are for mortals
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
