i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
