Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
