I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
