We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
