Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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