this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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