My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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