I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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