my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
