In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
