yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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