Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
