'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
