And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize