I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
