If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
