bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
