If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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