Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
