so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
