i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
