I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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