i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
