Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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