"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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