We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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